


Basorexia

by Sasassy



Series: Tumblr Requests [7]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Multiple Personalities, Romantic Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 08:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5198534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasassy/pseuds/Sasassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Touka really wants to kiss Haise, but her conscience disagrees. Haise is persistent, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Basorexia

**Author's Note:**

> Basorexia describes the overwhelming desire to kiss someone.

Touka prides herself in being somewhat collected.

Sure, she had some anger management issues in her teens, but who hadn’t had those. She’s got over them like she’s got over her crush on that one K-Drama actor.

Especially in the last few years she has gotten the upper hand over her emotions.

 

And she was damn proud of it.

 

That is, until Haise had walked into :re and upended her carefully reassembled life.

 

One of his sweet smiles and she lost her grip on herself.

 

”You’re more impulsive than I would have guessed,” Haise chuckles quietly, body pressed up against the door of :re’s backroom by Touka’s.

 

”I try not to be,” she admits and brings her face closer to his. His lips are glistening after having been licked by him and Touka wants to copy the action.

 

”Maybe you should.”

 

Touka’s eyebrows rise. Is he flirting?

Is he really insinuating what she thinks he is?

 

”Only one way to find out,” she mumbles to herself and moves closer still, her lips so close to his, she can feel the ghost of touch on her skin.

 

Her heart speeds up at the not-quite-contact, the hair on the back of her neck raising.

 

Up close, Touka can count the flecks of brown strewn across the grey of Haise’s eyes, his dark eyelashes fluttering with every movement of his lids and the need to kiss him is so raw, clawing its way from the pit of her stomach to her throat with such vigor that her vocal chords vibrate into a low moan.

There are fine lines around his eyes, making him look more mature. Touka wants to smooth them down and tell him whatever had caused them was gone forever now.

Instead she puts her hands on his chest, delicately, and raises up on her tiptoes to close the distance between them.

In the last moment before their lips touch she stops, breathing in the quiet sighs Haise lets escape.

 

She wants to kiss him.

 

She wants to bridge the gap and press their lips together so badly, she can feel the urge in her toes.

But she feels like she can’t.

It wasn’t Haise who she had fallen in love with, was it? She had fallen in love with Kaneki, long before the lines around his eyes had appeared. Long before his muscular torso told of hours of training and fighting.

 

And still ... She slowly fell for Haise too.

 

Sweet Haise who would tell terrible jokes when he thought she looked sad. Haise who once drew a rabbit on his napkin while they were talking and almost burst into tears when she’d asked him about it.

 

She wants to kiss him so desperately, but somehow she feels like she is betraying him. Him and Kaneki at the same time.

 

”Touka, please,” Haise whispers and his eyes slip shut. ”Don’t tease me, please.”

 

Touka smiles woodenly. He is most definitely whining now.

But she can’t give in. The ghost of Kaneki is still in her mind.

 

Haise’s hands trail up her arms and the touch is so gentle, so sweet, Touka can feel the familiar burning sensation at the back of her eyes. His fingers still feel like Kaneki’s.

 

”Touka?”, Haise asks and he looks at her, eyes soft and inquisitive and she feels suddenly bad for keeping her distance when all they both want is to get lost in each other.

 

”I want to,” she breathes, her damp breath flickering over Haise’s half-opened mouth and she feels him shiver at the sensation. ”I really do want to, but I can’t.”

She can almost taste the bitterness of regret in her voice. She wants to kill it with the sweetness of Haise’s lips.

 

”Because of him?” Haise asks and his eyes turn darker than she’s ever seen them.

 

She doesn’t dare speak, a small nod is all the answer she can muster up.

 

Haise drops his head, resting it against her shoulder and he chuckles. It’s a tired sound, sounding weary of this world and Touka’s heart aches. He’s gone through so much hardship in his life as Kaneki and as Haise, and now she is contributing to it in her own cruel way. She knows that Haise is in love with her, he’s shown her in so many ways and yet she keeps pushing him away.

 

”He wants you to,” Haise groans and he rubs his forehead against her shoulder as if in pain. Touka takes his face in her hands, cool fingers against too warm cheeks and it’s overwhelming how much she wants to kiss him.

 

But there it is again, that worrisome talk of him inside of Haise’s head and Touka’s blood runs cold with dread. She wants to shake him and make him admit that there is no one inside his head. She wants him to admit that he’s lying to humour her and act like there is still a chance of her first love being alive when there isn’t. She’s about to pull away when Haise groans, a strained sound that has her worried in a heartbeat.

 

”Haise?” she asks and touches his temples, hoping the cool of her fingers relieves the pain he constantly suffers from.

 

He raises his face and he looks suddenly so young, so innocent, that it takes Touka’s breath away.

 

”Touka-chan?”

 

Her world stops at that endearment and zeroes in on his familiar grey eyes, timid and gentle without the mature edge of having seen too much coating them.

 

”Haise?” she asks but she knows it’s not him. She can feel it in the shy glances tracing her face and the insecure fingers on her arms.

The tension between them grows so heavy and thick, Touka is sure anyone passing by would be able to see it. But with one quick motion of Kaneki’s head leaning in towards her, it falls away, leaving nothing but pure want.

 

”Touka-chan,” he repeats, slowly as if he savours the word and Touka feels her eyes over-brimming with tears. ”May I?” he asks shyly and all she can do is nod in her stupor.

 

His lips are soft against hers, shy and hesitant but it’s everything Touka has ever wanted

 

And even as his demeanour changes back, suddenly weary and mature again, Touka doesn’t hold back anymore. She decides that being collected is overrated.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is labelled as: first I couldn't come up with something, then I didn't like it but posted it on Tumblr anyway and it somehow became my most popular fic. And even though I didn't want to upload it here, I feel like I kind of have to now ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> P. S. : that's probably the worst summary in the history of me writing summaries. Wow.


End file.
